Star VS The Forces of Trolling
by WTFamidoingwithmyexistence
Summary: A bunch of badly written short stories, one-shots, two-shots, etc. about Star trolling Marco and vice-versa. All stories take place before "Sleepover". Also there's an abundant use of the word troll, trolling, trolled etc. you have been warned...
1. Vision is Important

Marco was chilling in his room, reading some awesome fanfiction written by me when Star burst into his room… from the ceiling.

"Star?! Where'd you come from?" Marco exclaimed, quickly closing his laptop so that Star couldn't see the strange stuff he was reading.

"Mewni, duh." Star said, putting her hands on her hips.

"That's not what I... ugh, never mind." Marco said, crossing his arms. "So, uh… what did you want?"

"Huh? Oh, right!" Star said, seemingly having forget what she came in his room for. "I don't remember."

"You… forgot?" Marco asked slowly, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, duh, why else would I come in here and ask for your help remembering?" Star asked leaning forward slightly, hands still on her hips.

"What exactly do you expect me to do?" Marco asked lowering his eyebrow.

"I dunno." Star said, still leaning forward slightly.

"Why are you leaning forwards slightly?"

"I dunno."

Marco stared at his alien best friend. She stared back. This defacto staring contest went on for several hours. By this time both their eyes were as dry as the Mojave and they were hungry. Standing up from his chair, Marco began backing up towards his door, not taking his eyes off of Star. Star, who was still leaning forward slightly, began walking forwards towards door, not taking her eyes off of him. Marco opened the door to the hallway and backed out of it until he hit the wall.

Star walked forwards until she was out of Marco's room, closing the door behind her. Marco then moved away from the wall, still keeping his eyes on Star's. Walking backwards down the hall Marco eventually reached the stairs, with Star a few steps behind him, er… technically ahead of him from his point of view. Marco took a step back and misjudged where the step would be.

With a girly scream Marco began tumbling down the stairs, still somehow managing to keep eye contact with Star, who had a large grin on her face. As Marco slammed against the wall he groaned in pain, but he held eye contact.

"Hey, Marco." Star said stifling a giggle.

"What?" Marco groaned, half out of pain, half out of annoyance.

"I remember what I wanted to tell you." Star said starting to lose control of her giggling.

"What?"

"You should, hehe, you should watch, hehehe, watch where you're going."

Marco slammed the back of his head into the wall as Star began laughing uncontrollably. Groaning even louder than before, Marco stood up only to be thrown back against the wall as Star came tumbling down the stairs at him, still laughing uncontrollably.

"Oh, kids!" Mr. Diaz said walking towards them, having heard the loud tumbling from the living room. "You should be more careful, it is dangerous to not watch where you are going."

Marco sighed in defeat as Star laughed even harder.


	2. Can't Troll a Troll

Marco watched Star enter the bathroom with her usual showering supplies through the tiny crack he left between his door and the doorframe. After yesterday's horrible trolling at the hands of Star, and kind of his own father, Marco decided he needed to get revenge. As soon as the bathroom door closed Marco tiptoed out of his room and towards the bathroom.

Sticking an ear to the door Marco listened to Star sing some song he had never heard before, after a minute or so he heard the shower turn on and Star's singing got muffled as she apparently stepped into the shower. Marco waited another minute just to be sure and then he, quite as a church mouse, opened the bathroom door, as slow as a sloth.

Once it was open far enough for him to sneak in, he did so. Holding a hand up to block his vision of the shower, even though it was impossible for him to see her through all the steam, he quickly, and quietly made his way towards the counter where he saw a change of clothes, and his objective: the hair brush.

Swiping it off the counter he snuck out of the bathroom, almost forgetting to close the door, and back into his own room. Laughing evilly to himself once he was safely inside, he hid the brush underneath his bed. After a minute, he nonchalantly exited his room and inconspicuously stood next to the bathroom, waiting for his epic troll to take effect.

After another minute, he heard the shower squeak off followed by the sound of Star's singing coming into full volume. After a few seconds, the singing stopped and Marco heard a quiet 'Hm.' come from inside. Placing a hand over his own mouth to quiet his laughter Marco was surprised to see the bathroom door open slightly and Star poke her head out at him.

"Hey, Marco, where'd you put my hairbrush?" Star asked as steam exited the bathroom behind her.

"Huh, but I- and you were… what?" Marco asked, dumbfounded that she had figured out his master plan.

"Yeah, I saw you come in, love what you did." Star said, pausing to point at Marco's hair which was exactly the same as it always was. "But I really need that brush back, if you don't mind."

Marco stared silently at Star's smile before groaning and walking towards his room. "I'll go get it."

 _ **Ahahahaha, you probably thought something perverted was going to happen as you were reading this chapter! But no! Nothing perverted happened, muahahahaha. Well, alright, I guess Marco sneaking into the bathroom while Star was showering is perverted in and of itself, but Star was there while Marco showered on at least 1 occasion, so I think it's only fair.**_


	3. Fly on the Door

Marco looked up at the large creature in front of him, his mouth agape in awe at the size of the massive beast. The beast crouched down and started moving its hand towards Marco, who was frozen in fear of what would happen to him. As the creature's large, but surprisingly soft, hands lifted him off the ground only one thought came to his mind… "Why?"

"Oh, wow, Marco! You're so small!" Star exclaimed, examining the tiny Marco currently being held in her hand.

"Why?" Marco asked Star as she raised him to her eye level.

"Why what?" Star asked walking over to her bed, making Marco almost throw up from the motion.

"Why did you SHRINK ME!" Marco shouted as Star placed him down on her bed.

"Well I didn't mean to." Star explained before flopping down next to him, sending him almost a full foot off of the soft fabric.

"Why were you trying to shrink anything in the first place?!" Marco shouted at his large friend shortly after landing back on the bed.

"Well there was this _really_ annoying fly buzzing around my room. It was all like 'I'm an annoying little fly, buzz buzz buzz!'" Star said making her voice a higher pitch to mimic the supposed fly's voice. "So, I decided the only logical thing to do is to shrink it down to a smaller size so I don't have to hear or see it."

"You… tried to shrink… a FLY!?" Marco shouted, rubbing his temples to try and alleviate his sudden headache.

"Yeah… it would've been much easier to just blow it up instead." Star said. "But you know what they said, butt vision is twangy-twangy, or whatever."

Marco gave Star a weird look before what she said clicked in his brain.

"Oh! You mean hindsight is twenty-twenty."

"Yeah, that. Anyway, you opened my door right as the fly landed on it, so that's why you're so tiny." Star finished explaining, moving her face right up against Marco's body. "And so cute!"

"Star, nothing is cute about this." Marco said backing away from her face. "Change me back, please."

"Oh, come on Marco! I can take you to that doll store and you can try on all kinds of dresses!" Star said excitedly, sitting up on the bed.

"Star. No." Marco said, not wanting to put up with this crap.

"But, Marcooooooooooo" Star said putting on her best set of puppy dog eyes.

"Star." Marco said grabbing her attention. "Change me back."

"Oh, come on, just one dress?" Star begged, clasping her hands together as she tried her best to strengthen her eyes' effect. "Pleeeeeeeeeaaassssseeee!"

Marco stared into her sparkling eyes for several seconds before finally relenting. "Ugh, fine… but just one!"

 _ **They didn't try on just one dress. Star made Marco try on all the dresses.**_

After several hours of humiliation passed, Star finally took him back home. Setting him down on her bed, she cast the shrink spell in reverse and he returned to his normal size.

"Well, with that out of the way, I'm going to bed now." Marco said making his leave from her room before she stopped him.

"Hey, Marco." Star said grabbing his attention.

"Yeah?" Marco asked turning around to face her only to see a huge grin on her face as she held back her laughter.

"There was no fly."


	4. Marco Trolls Star: Part I

_**This chapter's idea was**_ stolen from _ **inspired by Bomberguy789.**_

Marco slammed the door to Star's room as he exited it, her laughter breaking through the wooden barrier he had just placed between them. Trudging back to his room, he tried to think of something that he could use to get revenge on Star. As he passed his father in the hall he stopped him to ask a question.

"Oh, Marco!" Mr. Diaz exclaimed as his son walked past him, causing him to stop and face him. "Have you seen my chisel?"

"No, sorry." Marco responded, only barely paying attention to his father.

"That's too bad, I was going to make an amazing sculpture."

"Why don't you just go buy another one?"

"I can't do that! That chisel is like an extension of me! Like a magician's wand, my chisel allows me to-"

"Star's wand!" Marco exclaimed to himself, interrupting his father. "Thanks Dad, I owe you one!"

"Owe me one what?" Mr. Diaz asked the empty hallway as Marco ran into his room to begin plotting.

Grabbing some blue construction paper out of his emergency construction paper stash, he began making a blueprint of the house. Every door. Every room. Every. Single. Air duct. Every imaginable part of the house that could help him was labeled. After several hours of blueprinting his masterpiece was finished.

Now he moved onto step 2 of his master plan: planning his master plan. He first wrote a 10-page rough draft of what it would entail, but he decided that was too long and went with a simple checklist instead:

 **Step 1: "Borrow" Star's scissors**

 **Step 2: Pay Yvgeny a visit**

 **Step 3: Acquire Star's sleep schedule**

 **Step 4: Strike when the opportunity presents itself**

 **Step 5: Hide her wand**

 **Step 6: Laugh maniacally**

 **Step 7: Play it cool**

 **Step 8: Watch Star lose her mind**

 **Step 9: Before it goes too far give the wand back**

 **Step 10: Laugh maniacally in success**

Nodding to himself, Marco delicately folded the plan and placed it in his hoodie pocket. Looking at his clock he saw it was nearly ten o'clock, meaning he missed dinner. Walking downstairs, Marco saw his parents and Star watching a movie on TV. Hoping they didn't see him he quickly went back upstairs.

What luck! Star was distracted meaning that her scissors were unattended in her room… probably. Entering Star's room Marco was prepared to spend all night searching for them, but they were sitting on a table. Picking them up Marco cut a hole in space-time and jumped through it… right into the wall of Star's room. Looking down at the scissors in his hand he noticed they were just regular scissors.

Facepalming, Marco placed the scissors back and grabbed the pair lying next to them. This time, a portal opened up. Stepping through it, Marco found himself in front of a house in the middle of what he assumed was Mewni. Marco found it amazing how he didn't actually have to know where he was going to get there with dimensional scissors, simply the thought of Buff Frog's house brought him there. Shaking himself out of his thoughts, Marco knocked on the door of the house and several seconds later the door opened revealing a looming, familiar figure.

"Karate boy?" Buff Frog asked, surprised that Marco had visited him.

"Hey… Buff Frog… this is kind of awkward but I need a favor…" Marco said rubbing the back of his head.

"Of course, you helped with my babies after all!" Buff Frog said, his face lighting up at the thought of his babies.

"That's great. Now, here's where things get weird… I need a copy of Star's sleep schedule." Marco said, looking anywhere but at Buff Frog. After several seconds of silence Marco spoke up. "Like, I kind of assumed you would have made one, considering you spied on her for Ludo…"

"Yes, but… I don't know if I still have it… let me check. Please, come in." Buff Frog said moving aside so Marco could enter his home.

Marco took a seat on the surprisingly clean couch as Buff Frog began looking for the requested schedule. Marco pulled out his list and pen and made a check mark next to step 1 and step 2. After a few minutes Buff Frog returned with a small folder.

"Here is everything I still have regarding Star Butterfly." Buff Frog said presenting the manila colored folder. "But first, I want to know why you need this."

"Star made me wear a bunch of humiliating dresses and I want revenge." Marco explained, avoiding eye contact with Buff Frog once again.

"That is, uh… very strange…" Buff Frog said handing over the folder. "But why the sleep schedule?"

"Last time I tried to get revenge she saw me and it was ruined." Marco explained standing up and heading towards the door.

"Right, well I hope you have plan." Buff Frog said as Marco opened the door.

"I have plan." Marco said before swiftly making his exit.

As Marco stepped out into the Mewnian wilderness he pulled out his list and put a check next to step 3. Grinning devilishly Marco decided to deviate from the plan and laugh maniacally now. His laughter was cut short by some animal screeching at him from the trees. Pulling out the scissors Marco cut a portal back home and jumped through it as fast as possible.

Checking on Star, he saw she was still watching the movie with his parents. Unfortunately, she noticed him creeping on them from the stairs and waved her arm at him energetically.

"Hey, Marco! Marco! Come over here and watch this movie with us, it's great!" Star shouted.

"Thanks for the offer, but I'm going to bed." Marco said starting to make his leave.

"Aw, alright but you're missing out!" Star called out to him as he climbed the stairs.

Marco returned Star's scissors to her room and then returned himself to his room. Sitting down at his desk he opened the folder Buff Frog gave him. Inside were several badly written pages of notes, drawings and many other unidentifiable things. After a few minutes of searching Marco found what he was looking for, a bunch of schedules kept together by a paper clip.

Flipping through them Marco was just barely able to make out the titles of each. School Schedule, Food Schedule, Shower Schedule, and finally Sleep Schedule. Pulling the piece of paper out of the clip he examined it closely. It took a while, but he was eventually able to decipher the handwriting and copy down the schedule in his own.

After copying the schedule Marco began analyzing it to find the most opportune time to make his move. He quickly determined that the best time was during Tuesday night, when Star went to sleep earlier than the other days… for some reason.

Marco got up and headed for the bathroom, when he arrived he looked into the mirror with a strong air of determination around him. Squinting at his reflection he uttered 6 fateful words.

"I'm coming for you, Star Butterfly."


	5. Marco Trolls Star: Part II

Marco failed, the end.


End file.
